History Uncovered: The Romero Project

In my journey across the internet, I came across this speech transcript burried deep within the archives at the Library of Congress. Though I can't be certain, I would wager it is the only surviving copy: proof of the Romero Project. And I bring it first to you (if there are any of you). Enjoy

April 25th, 1967: Classified: President Lyndon B Johnson addresses the Romero Project

If you look around this table you’ll see democrats and you’ll see republicans. You’ll see white leaders as well as leaders of the black community. You’ll see men of Jewish faith; you’ll see women of Christian faith. You’ll those of wealth, and those of poverty. What you’ll see is a cosmopolitan blend cooked up from the very heart of this country’s diversity.

Yet, my purpose is not the creation of a utopian ideal, or a strategic shift of the status quo. My purpose is to bring to your attention an issue of such catastrophic importance that it requires we transcend all human prejudices. I ask all of you now, put aside your differences and bridge your diverse backgrounds. The only distinction that really matters anymore is the distinction between the living and the undead.

[confused glances and slight mumbling is heard]

I’ve spent several nights now, gazing at the Washington sky from my balcony on Pennsylvania Ave, Lady at my side, grappling with the best way to deliver the words I must say to all of you. And I believe Lady put it best: though they may laugh, scoff, protest, or even attempt to leave at first, history always honors direct and truthful leaders. And so in honor that fact, ladies and gentlemen, the dead are walking the earth.

[outbursts, cries, laughter fills them room]

Ladies and Gentlemen, please, contain yourself. Please hold any comments you wish to make about my senility until after I show you what I have seen. Major, please roll the footage.

[Lights dim. Footage comes on of what could be any small southwestern town. Though people are screaming, blood is everywhere, and what looks like human beings with decaying flesh is tearing everything in sight to bits. Even men with guns cannot seem to bring down such devilry]

[The audience is now silent]

My esteemed colleagues, right now you are looking at in the simplest terms the dead rising from the earth to eat the living. Voodoo calls them zombies and I find the name appropriate. We don’t know what caused it and are at a complete loss to what is fueling its onslaught. All we know is that it is happening and that whatever virus or plague drives these creatures is highly contagious.

[He flicks off the video and turns on the light]

We do however possess a certain degree of knowledge about our foes. They possess limited motor skills and an almost complete absence of cognitive processing. They appear to show no need for water, sleep, or even food. Our initial tests confirm that even though they eat human flesh it appears not to sustain them. It’s as if they eat out of the most primal of need. A need we may never fully understand.

But like all organisms, we can stop them. We have discovered that destroying the brain or severing it from the body, we can eliminate the zombie menaces.

I’ll admit, recent decision I’ve made regarding Vietnam and my almost complete inability to follow through with the War on Poverty is in a large part a consequence of what you’ve seen here today. And although popular history will never forgive me for what they can’t possibly understand, I hope that you all will.

As of now, the problem is small and largely isolated in the Southwest. So we can contain it. But for how long? Arrogance and pride, my friends. We cannot let these dual mindsets guide our hand in ignorance ay longer. Too long have these vices led us astray, charging us headfirst into the future, never once facing the consequences of our actions. This arrogance would have us pridefully declare our superiority over the zombie menace, and as a consequence we would never prepare our people for the possibility that we might not be. The grand What If.

We must warn the American people. But can you imagine for one second what that means? Amid the turbulent seas that shake the fragile ship of these 1960’s, could this nation which holds on by hope alone withstand such a blow to their reality?

I think not.

But we cannot leave them unprepared. Thus is our great burden. How do we inform without directly altering, and how to we prepare without alarming?

The solution, ladies and gentlemen, lies in the mind of one man. This man was fortunate to witness the destruction in the Southwest first hand. And because of what he saw, he shares a similar mindset and what must be done. It is my pleasure to introduce you to George Romero.

[confused applause as if they're still grappling with the video. A lanky man in his late 20's with large rimmed glasses stands beside LBJ and waves. He then retreats back into the shadows]

Hollywood, my friends. Hollywood is our answer. A multi-billion dollar a year industry, frequented regularly even in these times of crisis.

Mr. Romero will direct three feature length films depicting the zombie menace in a fictional light. He will spread the films out over several decades so that subsequent generations will be given a fresh chance at understanding the zombie menace.

Each film will chronicle a different stage in what our zombie analysts have determined a “projected outbreak” would look like. Film one will detail the uncertainty and terror which grips people during an initial outbreak, as they flee to defend themselves. Film two will detail the undead beginning to gain ground over the humans. And the third film…well the third film is our worst case scenario. It will chronicle a world overrun by the undead. But in many ways it is the most important film in my heart. Its message will be singular; its message will be simple. Survive…at any cost.

Romero and several other advisors will form a dummy production company, Image Ten Productions, as a front. Their budget will be small, so to keep the facade that they are acting out of their own intention and are not supported by a government budget.

To the American people, these movies will be no more than a new and different take on horror. They may flee the theatre in terror and they may cringe. But at the end of the night they will return to their bedrooms safe in their belief that there is no such thing as zombies, and that they are simply Hollywood’s next big moneymaker.

This will be the first accomplishment of the Romero project—ignorance. People don’t believe Hollywood, and have even less trust in science fiction and horror. “Creating” the zombie menance for Hollywood will convince people that it cannot possibly be real. And this insulates them from the truth for the time being.

But the most important accomplishment of the RP will be in unconscious preparation. I ask you my colleagues, if Dracula were to rise from the earth tomorrow, and considering recent circumstances that might not be too implausible, how would you dispense of him? What about a werewolf?

These tales, passed down through centuries of literature are ingrained so deeply within our culture that we wouldn’t hesitate to find a cross or a silver bullet. I believe Romero’s films will do the same. They will arm our citizens with the knowledge of how to kill zombies, the infectious nature of the bite, where to run in times of crisis, and the nature of the foe.

Long have we been cast as the beacon of freedom and action for the entire world. Can we prove that now? I assure you, we will do everything in our power to ensure this threat is neutralized, but if we cannot, do we leave people to their own defenses, or do we become the one nation that prepares them? When this menace comes knocking at our door, will we turn our backs, or will we answer the call? Will we be just any other nation? Or will we be America?

Thank you.